Me Versus Love

In or Out?

In March this year I was thrown a career curve ball. I was working for one of Australia’s (and the world’s) largest PR agencies in their Melbourne office after making the conscious decision that it was time to spread my wings out of my home town of Brisbane and make it in the Big Smoke.

Prior to The Big Move I’d spent the past five years working for two of Brisbane’s most reputable PR agencies, and three years prior to that working in an internal role in the banking and finance sector.

Ever since “discovering” PR in my uni days, I had had a burning desire to build my career working in agency roles, but to get a foot in the door and just start working I took an internal marketing communications role. It gave me a breadth of experience and a depth of knowledge of the banking and finance sector. It also taught me how to work across a business and influence the decision makers and secure their buy-in of communications strategies and protocols.

After nearly three years, I felt I had given the role everything I could and it was time to move on and hand over the position to someone who could bring new creativity and passion to it. I had also opened the door through networking to an agency role, and knowing that it was where I wanted my career to go, I took the leap with a boutique PR agency that specialised in the lifestyle sector - fashion, hospitality, professional services, travel etc. For the first 18 months I loved it, but after a while I felt I was burning out, working too hard for no personal or professional satisfaction and recognition, and the next six months nearly destroyed my confidence in my abilities for various reasons and so my employer and I (unpleasantly) parted ways.

That was my first inkling that agency land wasn’t for me. But I pursued.

My next role was leading the Brisbane team of a national PR agency, which gave me the opportunity to work with some fantastic clients and great national brands. As the agency lead, I was also able to define how our working relationships with those clients played out. Needless to say, it was often commented by their CEO, “Do you actually work for us now? You’re always here/know so much about our business!”. I had embedded myself in their day-to-day activities and loved it. And I think it made me a better consultant.

There were moments where I thought again that maybe agency wasn’t for me, so when the Melbourne Move was first a seed of an idea in my mind I began looking at internal roles. I came very close to securing a few over the following months, but I’d built my reputation in agency roles and that’s where the job offers were coming from. I was determined that if I was to take an agency role in Melbourne it would be with the best agency and I’d hold out for it.

It took five months from when I first said to myself, “I want to move to Melbourne” to be stepping out of the elevator on my first day at my new job.

And alas, four months later I was leaving (under mutual disappointment).

The next two months I spent soul searching, thinking about what it is that made me happy and love my career. A colleague once said to me I make a great PR/communications professional because I know a little bit about everything. I’m a generalist, not a specialist, and frustratingly for me I was beginning to be pigeon-holed into the specialist box in agency roles, specifically in the realm of social media.

In my first days of official unemployment, I took a big step back and starting writing down the thoughts when they came to me about what sort of satisfaction I was looking for in my next career move. It was nearly like looking at things with a clean slate.

I knew that:

• I loved working on a variety of tasks, not just churning out media releases and following up journalists.
• I loved having a depth of experience about the brand(s) I was working with - I wanted to know all about their business and ensure that all levels of their business were buying into a communications strategy.
• I wanted to be paid well (hey, who doesn’t?!) and not be working crazy hours.

Which made me realise that, for those reasons, it was time to choose if I was in (internal role) or out (agency role)? And then I realised it’s an internal communications role that I was personally better suited to.

At first I felt I’d failed. Failed at being a good consultant, failed at impressing and exceeding the expectations of my previous employer, failed at living up to the high expectations I’d set for myself.

And then I realised I’d actually succeeding in doing what so many people fail to do: Realise what it is I actually want and find a job I actually love.

I have the upmost respect for a number of PR agencies and consultants. They do great work and they love the pressure and deadlines and clients who bleed their creative and strategic juices dry. And I am now in a unique position of knowing how to leverage the expertise of an agency once I’m in a position in my current role to look at working with one.

But in my experience and in reading a number of industry publications, I feel sometimes we (PR people) put consultants and agencies on a pedestal, positioning them as the experts or more superior than those in internal roles. In my opinion, it’s all about breadth versus depth. Internal equals breadth of activities versus depth of product/industry knowledge whereas agencies are the opposite (breadth of product/industry knowledge versus depth of activity experience).

And now I know which one I’d rather have and I wouldn’t change it for all the agency roles in the world.

Gentlemen prefer bodacious

Dating 101: The Rules

I dedicate this post to my gorgeous friend Melissa, who’s recently back on the dating scene. I promise it’s not as scary as it sounds, honey.

My friends have dubbed me a bit of a serial dater, so for the purpose of this post let’s just pretend they speak the truth… 

Online, offline, set-up, friend-of-a-friend, an old beau, the cute guy at the gym/work/Coles/across the bar: I have a set of Rules I like to at least try to follow when it comes to dating.

I’ve been dating on and off for about seven years with mixed success. I tried to do the maths on just how many dates I might have been on during that time. Let’s just say I don’t think I’m in double digits anymore (sorry if you’re reading this, Mum).

One thing I’d like to point out is that I don’t approach dating like it’s husband shopping a la Charlotte York. I’m a social person who works in a people-orientated career, so meeting new people is par for the course for me and something that I actually enjoy. The minute you take the pressure off the situation, asking yourself silly questions like “Could he be the one? Could this be my last first date?”, then the more you open yourself up to enjoying the moment. You’re just sharing a coffee/wine and a conversation with someone who you potentially have something in common with. If there’s an attraction (physical or mental), then that’s just fabulous. And if not, ah well, you’ve just had a coffee/wine and there’s someone else out there that you WILL spark with. Unless it’s a complete disaster and you walk away thinking, “Well, there goes an hour of my life I’ll never get back…!” If it lasts that long. But try not to think about that.

Sorry, I digress…

Ok. So before I even get to the date, here are the “Rules” which pretty much apply in all circumstances, though I have been known to break the odd one every now and then:

1. Know what they look like. Never accept a blind date/online date without at least seeing a photo first. Let’s be honest - looks/physical attraction matters.
2. H needs to be able to communicate. If you’ve swapped a few emails and he can type a full sentence without using “txt speak” then chances are he can string a sentence together when you meet.
3. Have at least one phone conversation to know what they sound like. After all, if you do end up on more than one date, you’re going to want to like listening to them speak.
4. Never commit to anything more than a coffee/glass of wine on a first meeting. This gives you the chance to back out swiftly (30-45 minutes) if it’s not going well. If you commit to sharing a meal, you’ll have to sit through an hour or more of awkward small talk and watching someone you don’t particularly like eat. It’s not enjoyable, trust me.
5. Wear something you feel comfortable in and dress for the occasion. No one likes to see you fidget. It’s not cute. It’s uncomfortable. But most importantly, wear a smile and be in a positive, happy mood. People are naturally attracted to those sorts of people.
6. Be 5 minutes late. This is just my thing. I hate being the first one there. Boys are meant to wait for ladies. Not the other way around. Don’t judge me.
7. Be welcoming. Go in for the cheek kiss if you think they’re cute. If not, don’t. But at least smile and make eye contact.
8. Have some conversation starters for those silent moments. Ask an open-ended question that doesn’t require a yes or no answer, something like, “So tell me about where you’ve travelled to/your favourite sports/where you grew up?” which will lead to more discussion or provide chances to find more things in common.
9. Be yourself, and be honest. This should be a no-brainer, but I’ve seen girls who think they need to act a certain way on a first date in order to impress a guy and it’s not good. If you can’t be yourself on the first date, then your relationship has no chance of survival. Save each other the pain.
10. Don’t be afraid of the silent moments. They’re actually good ice-breakers. Make eye contact, smile and even have a bit of a giggle. Yes it’s flirty but it also tells them you’re sensing the slight awkwardness too and all of a sudden it’s not so bad.
11. Offer to pay your share. Even get your wallet out and offer up the cash (and make sure you have cash not card). If you didn’t like the guy - insist on paying your part. If you liked him and he insists on paying then make a point of saying “Ok, I’ll get the next one.” See what I did there? Second date, easy. And you’ve already given him the indication you’re keen to see him again which makes the next point important…
12. Don’t be the first one to initiate contact, post-date. This is where I get a bit fussy/traditional. I still think it’s up to the guy to initiate contact after a date. Keep in mind that some guys think the three day rule still exists, but that was pre-mobiles/Facebook/Twitter/email. Heads up boys: it doesn’t - if you’re keen, it’s totally suitable to follow up the next day with a “Thanks for yesterday, I really enjoyed meeting you. Would you be free to catch up this week/end?” And girls, it’s only good manners to respond either with a “Yes, I’d like that. I’m free <day> and <day>.” (leaving it up to him to offer up the next date suggestion) OR “Thanks, but I don’t feel we had enough in common. I wish you all the best.”

So ultimately it really boils down to modern manners, respect and being true to yourself and being open to simply meeting new people.

From there if you commit to a follow up date, there are a whole heap of other Rules… but that’s a post for another day.